Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize