My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
