can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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