The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm jealous of your bromance
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
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Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
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