He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
