she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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