You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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