I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
