ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
