so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
