I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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