I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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