I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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