Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
