I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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