worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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