sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
ttyl tear gas
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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