Do you still have your period?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize