Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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