And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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