forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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