Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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