I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
