his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize