Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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