Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.