Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(480): View more from Arizona

Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just got laid.

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(818): View more from California

At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.

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(713): View more from Texas

I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight

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(419): View more from Ohio

I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...

(567): View more from Ohio

Keep it.

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(432): View more from Texas

I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave

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