Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos

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  (804): just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos http://tfl.nu/9tfl
  Replies (14) Good night (6081) Bad night (557)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.

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  (602): either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing. http://tfl.nu/e07a
  Replies (21) Good night (6523) Bad night (610)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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  (214): Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking, http://tfl.nu/jftc
  Replies (6) Good night (3379) Bad night (708)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

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  (919): the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's. http://tfl.nu/kqcw
  Replies (10) Good night (4155) Bad night (875)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.

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  (412): The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD. http://tfl.nu/wyib
  Replies (1) Good night (1590) Bad night (666)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.

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  (403): Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one. http://tfl.nu/ek2z
  Replies (15) Good night (3019) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..

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  (330): he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder.. http://tfl.nu/5whr
  Replies (23) Good night (1072) Bad night (2120)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit

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  (360): She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit http://tfl.nu/vja9
  Replies (12) Good night (741) Bad night (2697)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.

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  (913): I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched. http://tfl.nu/3b2v
  Replies (14) Good night (1182) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just blew my weed a kiss

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  (828): I just blew my weed a kiss http://tfl.nu/vers
  Replies (6) Good night (1019) Bad night (410)
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  (347): View more from New York

  That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.

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  (347): That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where. http://tfl.nu/6uae
  Replies (11) Good night (673) Bad night (386)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..

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  (306): They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult.. http://tfl.nu/9g45
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (248)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.

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  (908): I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now. http://tfl.nu/22x0
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (249)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.

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  (513): I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem. http://tfl.nu/08nw
  Replies (3) Good night (377) Bad night (580)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.

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  (306): There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it. http://tfl.nu/dil5
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (210)

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