Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.