Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?