Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up

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  (847): you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up http://tfl.nu/wwvz
  Replies (1) Good night (999) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!

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  (508): i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah! http://tfl.nu/c18w
  Replies (10) Good night (3318) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.

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  (832): i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life. http://tfl.nu/0m3z
  Replies (29) Good night (1472) Bad night (3178) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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  (301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test http://tfl.nu/616n
  Replies (130) Good night (20313) Bad night (2131) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.

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  (313): I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere. http://tfl.nu/eett
  Replies (40) Good night (872) Bad night (11921) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away

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  (989): dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away http://tfl.nu/dlah
  Replies (30) Good night (1606) Bad night (7582)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?

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  (330): Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway? http://tfl.nu/zrwz
  Replies (20) Good night (4296) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.

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  (802): she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings. http://tfl.nu/exva
  Replies (14) Good night (3340) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.

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  (814): yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/s4gw
  Replies (17) Good night (896) Bad night (4212) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.

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  (314): She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good. http://tfl.nu/atnn
  Replies (2) Good night (2428) Bad night (687) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.

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  (828): Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt. http://tfl.nu/toh0
  Replies (22) Good night (2927) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.

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  (910): I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo. http://tfl.nu/5daz
  Replies (6) Good night (3463) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

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  (717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25
  Replies (9) Good night (798) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.

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  (202): To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned. http://tfl.nu/z20l
  Replies (20) Good night (576) Bad night (2105)
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  (607): View more from New York

  U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl

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  (607): U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl http://tfl.nu/xeyc
  Replies (9) Good night (236) Bad night (1349) Order T-Shirt

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