We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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