Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just had sex on a roof
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
