She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
