Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
