i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
