i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
