so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
