whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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