This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize