Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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