I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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