My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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