i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
