Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Drunk is not a location!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
