Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
