I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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