Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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