4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
