what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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