She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
