I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
