Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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