office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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