You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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