Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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