Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
