I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
