I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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