i just wanna soil my oats bro
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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