Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize