my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Who did Billy Mays play for?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
