Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
