Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
