Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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