Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
